HERE vs. Over There: A Reminder. A Call to Stay
Back in 2020, I wrote an open letter to white women in the movement to end gender-based violence. I wrote it during the dual pandemics of COVID-19 and centuries-deep systemic racism. I wrote it after watching a flood of statements, hashtags, and performative gestures flood my email and social media… while so many of us continued to be silenced over there.
I wrote it because of what I’ve witnessed, survived, and challenged as a Black, heterosexual, immigrant woman navigating “the movement” for decades.
Since then, the letter has traveled far and wide. It’s been shared across social justice circles, reposted in advocacy spaces, and requested by white women seeking permission to use it as a conversation starter within their organizations and communities.
Nearly five years later, one thing is clear: this letter is still necessary.
It’s for those who said “I’m listening” and "I'm ready" but never shifted power.
For those who proclaimed “Black Lives Matter” while continuing to exclude, tokenize, silence, and harm Black colleagues.
For those who showed up for a moment, then disappeared when the real work got uncomfortable.
And for those who are still trying, truly trying, to do better. This is for you, too.
Now it’s May 2025. More posters. More statements. More outrage. More demand for racial justice.
So I ask: Are you HERE to stay?
Or will you return to the comfort of over there when the journey gets hard?
I invite you to read or (re) read the full letter.
Sit with the truth.
As an aspiring ally, reflect on what has or hasn’t changed in your life, your work, and your leadership since 2020.
Then decide:
Are you really ready for the transformative change required to join us over here?